Chasing Mr. Right?

Chasing after Mr. Right?

Here’s my best piece of advice: STOP!

That’s right… stop chasing. Stop trying to make things happen yourself and let God handle it for you. The Bible says in Deuteronomy 31:8 that God goes before you. I love the way The Message puts it. “God is striding ahead of you. He’s right there with you. He won’t let you down; he won’t leave you. Don’t be intimidated. Don’t worry.”

There were so many times in my life when I was heartbroken over a guy. I let my relationships define me. If someone left, I would wonder what I did wrong. If someone cheated on me, I would wonder why I wasn’t good enough. I literally remember looking in the mirror after finding out my boyfriend cheated on me and thinking that maybe if my hair was longer and straighter, if I could just be thinner, if I my face would stop breaking out… then maybe he wouldn’t have cheated on me. If I could just be prettier. Then I would deserve for someone to love me.

Isn’t that crazy? But maybe you’ve felt the same way. It wasn’t until later that I learned how Jesus died for me and that He made me worthy. I learned about who I really was… a daughter of the King of Kings. God began to show me that He created me perfectly and wonderfully and that I was His.

The day I gave my heart to Jesus, I vowed that I wouldn’t ever date anyone. At first, it was because I didn’t believe that good guys existed. I spent a lot of years saying that guys were all liars, and it was going to take some real proof to make me believe otherwise. Chris was a huge part of God healing that place in my heart, but that’s another story for another blog! Anyway, I made up my mind that I was done chasing guys and God would have to come down from Heaven and tell me Himself if He wanted me to be with someone.

So, I stopped chasing a relationship and started chasing Jesus. Instead of trying to get attention from guys, I started giving all of my attention to the Lord.

And for two whole years I didn’t go on a single date. Proverbs 4:23 says “Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life.” And that’s what I did. I guarded my heart by giving it fully and completely to Jesus and trusting Him with my nonexistent love life! I had spent a lot of years doing things the wrong way, and I was determined to do it right this time. I knew the wreckage that could come from living outside of God’s will and I didn’t want anything else to do with my old life.

Turning my back on my plan and adopting God’s plan was the best choice I ever made. There were a lot of times during those two years (like on Valentine’s day!!!) that I felt lonely and discouraged. But in those moments, I would just grab my journal and write out prayers or put on some worship music and sing. I would remind myself that I had chosen to trust God with my heart and that He knew what was best for me. Instead of going out on dates on Friday nights, I would go hang out at my Grandparents’ house or just stay home and read a book. And the coolest thing is that during that two year period, God was growing a friendship with Chris that I never thought would turn into anything romantic. I had sworn off relationships, remember? But God knew what He was doing. I literally met Chris at the altar at church. And I was going to church because I was chasing after God.

That’s the thing, dear one. Don’t chase after Mr. Right… Chase after God, and He will bring the right guy into your life at the right moment. His plans for you are perfect and there is nothing that you could make happen for yourself that would be better than what God has in store for you.

The most beautiful thing happened when I trusted God with my heart. He gave me a real life fairy tale. I went on my first date with Chris in March and we were engaged three months later. He proposed right underneath the Eiffel Tower in Paris and we walked hand in hand down the Parisian cobblestone streets like something out of a dream. God wants to give you a fairy tale love. He is the creator of romance, the author of the greatest fairy tale love story of all time, the one between us and Jesus. 

I found my husband when I was wildly pursuing God’s heart. Chase after God, trust Him with your heart, and everything else will fall into place. You don’t have to settle for less than God’s best.

With messy hair and wild grace,

Ellyn