Having a baby in a foreign country comes with all kinds of attention. Especially if your baby is especially white and you live in the capital of Peru!

Yesterday, I wanted to buy a personal pizza and eat it, so I decided to use Jubilee so that I could break in front of the 30 other people standing in line (because that is a thing in Peru… If you have a baby, you automatically go to the front… don’t judge me) so anyways, I forgot for one moment that although babies do get you to the front of the line, they also get you lots of unwanted attention.

As soon as I placed my order and was standing there waiting for my pizza and reveling in my line-cutting victory, the first person comes to me and fusses at me because Jubilee is wearing a short sleeved onesie and I need to put socks on her feet. You guys, SOCKS. (They seem not to realize that my 8 month old only has one interest in socks… to take them off of her feet and eat them) so whatever.. I thank the lady for her advice, explain to her that I’m not a bad mom but that Ju just eats her socks and so it’s hopeless. She shakes her head disapprovingly, tells me not to bring her out again without socks in this 85 degree weather, and she goes on her way. My cheeks flush. I want to scream after her “IT IS 85 degrees! SHE IS HOT! SHE DOESN’T NEED SOCKS!” But alas, I say nothing, and I just try to shake it off. I whisper to Jubilee that we both know that she really doesn’t need socks, her toes are just fine without them.

Then comes the next person, who runs up to me and asks if she can hold Jubilee and take a picture with her. She reaches out her arms to take my baby, and I have a conversation with her in my head. “No!” I tell her. “You may absolutely not hold her. I do not know you. She is MINE. Get away.” But in reality, I just smile, awkwardly say yes, and hand her my baby. Fail. So of course, she proceeds to take at least 7 selfies with Jubilee, all the while saying to everyone around us how incredibly white she is and how she looks like a doll. Everyone agrees and starts to talk to Jubilee. Then she asks her boyfriend to take a picture of the three of us, so I oblige, we take a picture together. She tells me she’s going to put it on her Facebook page so all of her friends can see the porcelain doll baby and then kisses my cheek and runs off. I stand there, still waiting for my pizza, and realize that I didn’t even get her name but that Jubilee and I are probably going to be featured in her next profile picture.

Whatever. I am a firm believer in choosing your battles. And this is not my battle. I have been dealing with these types of encounters for 8 months. It’s just the way it is when you have a tiny baby girl that got all of her daddy’s fair skinned red-headed-ness and none of her mommy’s tan and brown hair.

So anyways, I finally got my pizza, enjoyed every bite of it and laughed at myself for getting all flustered by the sock lady and the selfie girl. Life is like that. Sometimes you just have to laugh at yourself, laugh at the strange people, and shake it off.

Besides, the pros totally outweigh the cons. Because I have a baby in Peru, I never have to wait in line anywhere, ever. Traffic always stops for me and I get to cross the road all the time no matter what because I am carrying a baby. I get seated first at restaurants and even if there is an hour long wait, mine is never longer than 5 minutes. I always get to sit down on the bus or in any waiting room even if it is packed full of people. And most of the time I get cheaper prices and discounts at the market because I have this tiny little porcelain doll baby!

How about you? Does this all just sound crazy to you? (If so, offer up a prayer for me!) Or do you have any funny stories about unwanted baby advice and weird strangers wanting to hold your little ones? I would love to hear your stories!!

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